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Friday, October 12, 2012
stupid little brain I must be crazy. In my head, I keep thinking of terrible things. Like seriously terrible. Making me a terrible muslim. Okay, i mean not like murder or rape or whatever. But like self-degrading things that a muslimah should never do i guess. I don't even wanna say it here 'cos its too embarrassing. And its all because my self esteem is freaking low, i think. Sighs, i think i think too much. Over-thinking about the way i look, the way I talk, the way I smell. Omg. Sometimes, i just love myself and I would be like super confident and whatnots. But some days, I would feel like an ugly freak and I would hate myself and would just keep to my own business. And I hate those days. And I don't want today to be one of those days 'cos I don't wanna be all moody for megan's bbq. Going running today was really good. I ran for like 4km, walked for 1km. Really proud of myself for doing that and I love myself today so far. I just need to decide on something to wear that I really feel comfortable and pretty in a tudung with and won't do anything stupid that would bring Allah's wrath upon me. But what if i do? So many temptations! asjhqdgwfgefb3rnf2inidedmedfe sighs, i need to constantly remind myself that god is watching everything and he knows everything. EVERYTHING. Okay bye >< |